You were made to live and love with your whole heart. Courage and daring are coursing through your veins.

You were born worthy of love and belonging. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy and lovable, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. All of this pretending and performing-these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt-has to go. Midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear:

You can’t cure the midlife unraveling with control any more than the acquisitions, accomplishments, and alpha-parenting of our thirties cured our deep longing for permission to slow down and be imperfect. Midlife is an unraveling.īy definition, you can’t control or manage an unraveling. A crisis is an intense, short-lived, acute, easily identifiable, and defining event that can be controlled and managed. Quit pissing and moaning, work harder, and suck it up.Īs it turns out, I was right about one thing-to call what happens at midlife “a crisis” is bullshit. If you’re struggling at midlife, it’s because you haven’t suffered or sacrificed enough. The entire concept of the midlife crisis is bullshit. In my head, I had always responded to the idea of “midlife angst” by scoffing and coming up with some politically and therapeutically correct way of saying that midlife whining is pathetic. However, I do remember flashes of wondering if I’d always be too afraid to let myself be truly seen and known.īut intuition is a heart thing, and until recently I had steamrolled over most of my heart’s caution signs with intellectualizing. I was incredibly busy proving myself in all of my different roles (mother, professor, researcher, writer, friend, sister, daughter, wife), so much so that it was difficult for any emotion other than fear to grab my attention. I experienced internal rumblings about the meaning and purpose of my life. In my late thirties, my intuition had tried to warn me about the possibility of a midlife struggle.

Half life full life consequences 2